A Meal For One
Earlier this evening I went out to run a few errands. There’s a feeling in the air, the feeling of that season, and I could definitely sense it. A sense of urgency, a sense of loneliness even when hundreds of people are about, a sense that while a quiet evening to one’s self is nice, it’s also nice to be out and about. Then, mid-errand, my plans for the evening were canceled in a very last-minute fashion. So I got in my car and headed toward home to cook something for dinner.
And then I said: Screw it. I’m taking myself on a date.
I cook a lot, and it’s often for myself. A very wonderful and lovely person asked, in a comment on yesterday’s post, whether I cook all this wonderful food that I write about just for me, and if I do, then hooray, because she always used to tell people, “Hey, cooking just for YOU isn’t so hard and anyway, you ought to fuss over yourself and treat yourself to some tasty food.” The same goes out to all of you: Much of the stuff you read about here – except for things like that big duck dinner, and the baked goods that I often give away or make for special occasions – I make for me. I might share leftovers with a certain someone, if he asks very nicely (and he does). But when I decide to try a recipe, or to make a mess of my kitchen, it’s usually for myself. It might mean I have to cut a recipe in half, or make it up as I go along to create a single serving, or have a hell of a lot of leftovers. It might mean I’m the only one who celebrates a triumph, but it also means I’m the only one who suffers when good intentions go very, very bad. None of those things are at all a problem, and when you’re eating by yourself, you ought to be eating something delicious, something crafted with care. If you take care of others, why not take care of yourself?
So my date with myself was along the same lines. I’d been cooking a lot lately, but it was time for a break, and I guess I wasn’t in the mood to be at home. I enjoy going out to dine alone sometimes, so I went to a friend’s restaurant, where I know as much care and curiosity and love go into the food as it does in my own kitchen. It’s a raw restaurant here in town, called 118 Degrees. The food is labor-intensive, innovative, fresh, and healthy. It’s also an adventure in wonderful new flavors and textures. Along with the lighter fare, there are dishes on Chef Jenny’s menu that are straight-up comforting and filling – and that don’t give me a moment’s concern afterward. Oh, the joy of feeling stuffed, yet happy and not sick!
I neglected to take photos, because I was hungry and not thinking about blogging (forgive me, it was a momentary lapse). But I can tell you I combined the light with the comforting: half a Caesar salad of mixed romaine lettuces, avocado, capers, and nut cheese, topped with dulse dressing, plus heirloom tomatoes served with warm pignolia topping. Who knew raw foods could be so rich? I was going to get dessert (cappuccino crème brulée with caramel), but I sat talking for so long with Jenny and with Kate, one of the servers, that I had to let them go home. I resolved to return soon for the crème brulée and instead got an apple cinnamon fig pecan cookie to go. Larabar, watch out.
Beyond enjoying a deeply satisfying meal, and coming away feeling simultaneously sated and healthy, my solo date tonight reminded me again what a magical conduit food is. It’s not about famous chefs with wild personalities, the next big whatever, or what’s in/out. It’s more than new recipes and ingredients and ideas. It’s also about how food brings us all to the table. Once we’re there, we find so much to enjoy and learn about: flavors, personalities, combinations, lives, new friends. It’s about connecting with someone over the conflict of loving food/food as the enemy, and then having learned to think not in terms of what’s forbidden, but instead of what an endless world of possibilities is out there. And that world of possibilities starts with you.
So don’t forget to take care of you: Fuss over yourself like you would any guest or dining companion. Create meals worth eating. Take yourself on a date. It doesn’t have to be every day, but do come to the table and hang out with yourself. You are great company, my dear, so please reward yourself with some fabulous food.
